Dogging is becoming so mainstream now that it regularly pops up in those Agony Aunt columns. Yesterday, September 25th, there was a letter from some poor woman seeking advice from the Sun’s Agony Aunt – Deidre. Here we publish in full the letter, with Deidre’s reply.
Worried about Dogging
I fear hubby is going on dogging trips again.
My husband and I were attracted to one another by our love of wild and “different” sex. We both enjoyed sex in the open air and in public places where we might be discovered. The riskier, the better.
We met other men and women online who also liked threesomes, tried dogging and went to nudist beaches for sex knowing there were people sitting the other side of the rock. If we were seen we asked them to join us.
All that was years ago. We are 38 and 37 now and have been married for 13 years with a daughter of 11.
The trouble is that now I don’t trust my husband any more. He used to come up with the ideas for sexual exploits and I happily went along with them, but now I worry he still hankers after exciting sex but I’m not part of his plans.
He goes out without telling me where he’s going. He doesn’t answer his phone when I ring. He receives calls and goes into another room to take them. His phone is always with him and protected by a pin number. I spoke to him about it because I worry when he goes out, but he says he has always been protective of his privacy. When I said I thought he was cheating on me he said it was my imagination and he’s doing nothing wrong.
I think if I looked in his phone I would know the truth but I don’t know if it is right to “spy” on a loved one. I never hide anything from him. Writing to you is the first thing I have ever done and kept secret.
Agony Aunt Deidre replies….
Spying on your husband won’t give you peace of mind. Your understandable anxiety is already damaging your relationship and it is likely your daughter is picking up on your tension.
It is not unreasonable for you to want to know where he is going. What if there were an emergency? He is behaving like a single guy, not a married man and father.
Talk to him somewhere quiet. Tell him you are unhappy and anxiety is taking over your life. If he refuses to change his behaviour, talk to a Relate counsellor.
So there you have it – the UK’s most famous Agony Aunt Deidre telling a woman to talk to her man about his behaviour. Quelle surprise.
